Common Wedding Planning Questions Answered by a Wedding Planner
Photo by Allie Idrac
Wedding planning can be beautiful, scary, intimidating, fun, and overall confusing. We totally understand there can be many questions when you begin the planning process. That’s why you have event planning experts like us. We are a Chicago based event production company that has designed weddings, galas, parties, fundraisers, etc. for over a decade. So I guess you can say we have some experience in the wedding industry. We want to calm your nerves while planning, so here are a few common wedding planning questions we get asked, and our answers:
What's the best wedding day timeline?
The correct answer is: there isn’t one. You can shape your wedding timeline however you want. Of course, there are techniques and tips to make the day flow better, but it’s all dependent on if you’re getting married in one location, how many people are in your wedding party, if you’re doing a first look, if you want an earlier celebration, if you are having a longer ceremony, etc. This is why we don’t truly start creating the official timeline till vendors have been booked, and we understand your day a bit better. If you want a breakdown of a wedding timeline though, you can view a blog we wrote about wedding timelines here.
How early is too early to start planning my wedding?
There is no such thing as too early. Typically though, people get engaged and then plan a wedding 1-2 years out.
I want my wedding to be memorable. How can I make my wedding stand out without breaking the bank?
Love this question. Your wedding will stand out if it feels cohesive and smooth. Focus on tiny details that represent you and your love story. Maybe you put something in the decor that makes guests think of you, maybe your late night snack is your favorite treat as a couple, or maybe you have a memorable first dance. Options are endless. You don’t just have to have “a grand wedding with pretty flowers.” Make it personal. Make it unique. People will remember those moments.
How do we figure out a budget?
The best way to start is by talking with your partner. How much do you each want to spend.? The next step is to chat with your parents and in-laws and ask if they are potentially interested in chipping into the wedding fund. Then you want to do a bit of research into the area/city you are interested in getting married in. Find out what the average price per person is for a wedding there. That should help you understand if you need to increase your budget a bit, find some other source of funding, or make some downsizing decisions. Obviously the bigger the city and bigger the guest count, the bigger the budget you will need.
When is the best time to get married?
There is no right or wrong answer to this as well. Lots of people get married on the weekend, and in the warmer seasons because they want to have an outdoor wedding, desire a longer day, and want more people to show (since typically less people have work on weekdays). But some enjoy the idea of a cozy winter wedding - they feel that’s more romantic! And they don’t mind having it on a weekday because the number of the day is the more important part than day of the week. It’s again all based on your interests, or budget. Note: Weekdays and colder seasons will typically be cheaper as there is less of a demand than weekend/summers.
What are some affordable wedding favor ideas?
First off, don’t feel expected to provide a wedding favor. They can get expensive, and lots of times they might end up in the trash. So if you are stressing about this, then don’t have one. That being said, there are some fun favors you can provide, so if you are also feeling a bit more adventurous we list out some unique favors in our blog here.
What wedding details can I DIY to save money, and what should I leave to the experts?
Hot take maybe, but we are firm believers that almost everything should come from the expert. Not only does it save you time making them, but it also relieves the stress of figuring out where things need to go before and even after the big day (because you can’t always store things in the venue the day before or have the time to pack afterwards). We do totally understand you might be a crafty person and want to help, but making centerpieces for potentially 20+ tables is a lot. If you have to DIY something though, we recommend stationary/invites, the guest book, the seating chart, guest favors, and maybe something to add to the decor rentals like table numbers. That way the experts can have it ready on the day, prepare it while you’re getting dressed or taking pictures, and then also handle the breakdown. Weddings are an investment. We get that. But your time and level of stress is also super important.
How do I find wedding vendors?
Sometimes the best ones are through word of mouth. Ask any friends that got married who they used for their wedding. You can also find wedding vendors online, on social media, though reviews, or networking events. However you find them, we recommend meeting with them virtually or in person before booking, It’s best to work with a vendor you enjoyed connecting with.
When should I start hiring wedding vendors?
Here’s sort of the loose timeline of when we recommend hiring vendors:
12-15 Months Out: Book Venue
10-12 Months Out: Book Caterer, Book Hotel/Room Block, Book Photographer
8-10 Months Out: Book Florist, Book Entertainment
6-8 Months Out: Book Rentals, Book Desserts, Book Officiant, Book Beauty
4-6 Months Out: Book Videographer, Book Transportation,
4-6 Months Out: Book Rehearsal Dinner
There can always be exceptions, and some wiggle room. We do always recommend booking your venue first because it’s easier to “piece the puzzle together” that way, but if there is a vendor you REALLY want to work with, it’s ok to secure a date with them first, just know you will have to base your venue search around that date. You don’t have to follow that outline exactly, but we just recommend booking your bigger ones sooner to guarantee availability.
Can I ask guests to put their phones away at the wedding?
Absolutely! Don’t be ashamed of this. You can either have it in your program, on your welcome sign, or you can have you officiant make a speech. You can also alternatively have a moment at the very beginning where guests can take as many photos as they want until the officiant ends it.
How many rooms should I reserve in a hotel block? Does it need to be close to the venue?
This depends on the number of guests you have coming from out of town. Typically a hotel will hold about 10-15 rooms for you for free, so if you don’t have many out of town guest then that might be enough. If you have more out of town guests, then you can either source multiple free hotel blocks around the area, or you can ask one hotel to add more rooms. If more rooms are required, that’s when hotels might add an attrition rate. This means if not all the reserved rooms are booked, you will still have to be financial responsible for a portion of the rooms. If you want to learn more about wedding room blocks then check out our blog here.
When should I send out save-the-dates and invitations?
You should typically send out your save the dates about 8-10 months away from your wedding. You want to make sure you give your guests time to plan around the date and make any accommodations they might need. Your invitations can be sent out 3-6 months away. Again, earlier the better as this is when guests typically will RSVP, select meals, check out the registry, and learn more details. More time for them to plan, and more time for you to start tracking guest’s information. We recommend your final RSVP date to be about a month away. This will align up around when your caterer needs to know the final count, and because you will most likely have to track down a few people’s responses….
Photo by AJ Abelman
Do I have to invite someone to my wedding if they invited me to theirs?
You don’t. I understand it might be a bit awkward, but you don’t ever have to do something you don’t have to do.
How should I handle guest list reductions due to venue capacity?
So here’s the thing- you should create your guest list before finding a venue. That way you won’t run into this issue and you can look for places that can actually hold the number of guests you want to invite. That being said, if you have a dream venue that you’ve always wanted to get married in, then it becomes a trade off. Would you rather invite all the people you want to invite, or get married in the dream venue? Another idea is making a list A and a List B. List A is all the first choices. List B can be ones that are maybe more casual friends. If someone from List A declines, you can invite someone from List B.
Should we do a first look?
We are team pro first look, but it is truly up to you. Not only does it give you a more intimate moment with your partner, but it also allows for some more photo opportunities. Selfishly, it also makes things easier for your vendors as the timeline can be a bit more fluid, and there is less time keeping you both apart. We have also had plenty of couples skip this idea entirely and just get ready together. World is your oyster! If you want a more in depth breakdown though, you can read our blog Should I Do A First Look?
How do I choose a color/design scheme for my wedding? I want something that's unique and will stand out to my guests.
Coming up with the design is our favorite part of wedding planning! Many couples look up inspiration on Pinterest and create inspiration boards. Some look at Instagram or the portfolios of design vendors. For colors, maybe first think about your favorite colors as a couple. Are they complimentary? Are they contrasting but in a fun way? Maybe choose one to be your rooted color. Or if you have a favorite flower you really want in your bouquet then you can base your design around that. Then you can have some coming up with pops of color, LOTS of color, hints of color. Maybe your selected venue has unique architecture or a color scheme built in the interior - you can make your design complimentary to those colors. Options are endless. That’s why it’s best to build a collection of things, colors, and designs you like - even if they don’t go together. Then you can narrow things down with each other, or discuss with your planner to come up with something super fun, unique, and totally you!
Can we have an adults only wedding?
Absolutely! The best way to make sure this happens is by putting a little note on your invitations letting guests know that children aren’t allowed, as well as listing this on your wedding website under some Q&As.
How do we figure out plus 1s?
This will be determined based on budget. If you have a more open budget then feel free to allow all guests to bring a plus 1. If you know you need to keep things a bit tighter than I feel folks will understand not being able to bring a plus 1. I think it’s ok to only offer plus 1’s to those that are married or in a long-term relationship. People understand tight guest counts and budgets.
Who should give toasts/speeches?
We think toasts during the reception should be short, sweet, and planned. Things can get a bit chaotic if you host an open mic and let anyone speak. Typically, the best people and the Father of the Bride give the speeches. Obviously if you don’t have a father figure, nor are you a “bride”, you can choose someone or someones as a substitute. All in all, you can allow as many important people to speak as you want. Just keep in mind…these speeches typically happen before the dinner’s main course so guests, and YOU might be getting a bit hungry and antsy…
Should we do a cake or dessert bar?
Up to you! Cake is a staple for a reason. You can have a ceremonious moment of cutting the cake, and you can have some gorgeous cake designs. The fun thing about dessert bars is the variety! You give guests (and yourself) more options. Down the line though, it might be easier to satisfy any guests with dietary restrictions with a dessert bar so you don’t have to get separate desserts for them or have them miss out.
How do we handle gratuity?
Some vendors might allow you to include gratuity in your digital invoices. Otherwise, if you have a wedding planner, they can typically be in charge of passing them out at the end of the night. Easiest way is placing them in envelopes with the vendor’s name on it. Below is a breakdown of the typical tip % per vendor. (Also vendors love positive reviews and word-of-mouth recommendations).
Hair Stylists/Makeup Artists/Beauticians: 15% - 20% of the total (sometimes it is already included so check your invoice)
Officiant (if hired): Most take donations to the church and will not accept any tips whatsoever. The amount varies from $75 - $100 if the tip goes to the officiant. Sometimes if the wedding is in the church the gratuity is included as a donation to the church.
Transportation: 15% - 20% of the total bill (sometimes this is already included so check your invoice)
Valet/Parking Attendants: $1 - $2 per car
Coat Check Attendants: $1 - $2 per guest
Restroom Attendants: $1 - $2 per guest
Florists, Bakeries, and anyone else dropping off items: A tip is not expected as that is what the set-up fee is for but if you are provided with excellent service or quality, a tip of $25 - $50 is great.
Photographers/Videographers: $50 - $200 per each photographer/videographer
Event/Wedding Planner/Coordinator: 2.5% - 10% of the total service fee shared between all coordinators.
Musicians or Trio/Quartet/Singer: $50 - $100 per musician
Band/Live Musicians for Cocktail Hour & Reception: $20 - $25 per musician or 15% of the total fee
DJ: 15% - 20% of their service fee
Catering Staff: If gratuity is not included, you can pay 15-20% of the food and beverage total only before tax and labor charges which will be shared with the entire team (event captain(s), chef(s), servers, bartenders, kitchen staff).
What do we do with gifts/cards at the end of the night?
If you hire a planner they will typically be in charge of gathering items for you at the end of the night, otherwise you will have to assign someone the duty of gathering cards/gifts at the end of the night, and most likely bringing them to the venue’s greenroom.
Do we need a wedding planner?
YES! :)
Photo by Allie Idrac
Still have a question we didn’t answer? - don’t hesitate to reach out!
Fierce Productions is a Chicago based event planning company specializing in curating unique, bold, non-traditional weddings and events. Our talented team of professionals can handle all of your event needs including planning and coordination, design and styling, vendor and talent management, fundraising, marketing support and beyond - get in touch to learn more!